Without you
by evilneevil
Summary: If you're waiting for me up there I won't be long now, I can't experience tomorrow, it will be too final, the end of us and the start of just plain George. I can't do that. I'm sorry Fred. I love you brother, when we next meet it'll be our birthday hopefully, I'm looking forward to it. Gred. The proper description is inside. No twincest. Trigger warning.


Firstly can I say that the title I still haven't actually come up with so the title I will have put down is likely just temporary until I can think of a better one for the story.

Secondly, yes I have already started this before but in my impatience I didn't really draft it well enough so I will take down what I had already written and redo it, sorry if you liked it before but it wasn't as good as it could be and I didn't want to an attempt that I didn't put everything I could have into.

This story will only be a short story, a continuation of George's story after Fred's death in a way that I haven't read about before, its similar in a way to 'It's Kind of a funny story' but is not based upon that film. I will try to stick to how JK wanted George's story to end after. It's not exactly a romantic story and will be rather depressing and there are suicidal themes so this is a trigger warning I guess. I don't think it would count as OOC because in my opinion this is how George's character would react to the changes in his life despite it being a different character to how he used to be.

Without you.

Chapter one. Ghosts.

_It's been almost a year since you've been gone Fred. Merlin, it'll be our birthday tomorrow, Mum's trying to get me to go to the burrow for a meal for my birthday. It sounds so strange, my birthday, not our birthday but my birthday. We never really knew what it was like for something to be just ours, not both of ours, we shared everything, birthday's, presents, dreams, everything about us that made us who we were. We were always a pair, barely ever seen apart, always referred to as a pair. They don't know what to do now it's just me, I don't know what to do._

_I closed the shop a couple of months after you died, I couldn't do it alone but at the same time I couldn't let go of it, everything is just as it was in case I ever decide to reopen. I'm still living in the flat though as you obviously know by now, I haven't left in what must have been six months according to Percy when he drops round the necessities and tries to tidy up a bit, he's trying to be here for us more now that he realises how much family means. I really let go of my hold on life when I hid myself away in here. I haven't seen anyone other than Percy in that time, just me here wallowing in self-pity. _

_Now I might be wrong about this but it's been comforting to me to almost feel you're here as well, just a feeling of your presence, I only ever feel in the flat when we're alone which is why I've spent six months like this, I'm a mess I know but I feel like you're here with me. And I've realised Fred that you're what I need, I don't know how to live life without my other half, my twin brother. I can't look in mirrors anymore Fred because all I see is you, minus an ear of course. I can barely even make jokes anymore, I still think of them but we were a duo Fred, I need you to deliver the punch line, I'm not the same person anymore without you. _

_Whenever people look at me they still see you, I have wondered whether they'd have preferred you to live out of the two of us but I think it's just that now they realise how different we actually were, before we were a complete person and nobody realised how much quieter than you I am and how much more reserved, you were the more boisterous one but I'll be honest we were both pretty big idiots weren't we? That's probably why they didn't notice our differences because at the end of the day we were pranksters, one and the same and that's all they ever saw._

_Well I can't be that constant reminder anymore Fred, and I certainly can't do this without you. I know it sounds pathetic but I just want this to all be over with, I look back at memories of us and how we had everything planned out for our future. We don't have that future anymore, we never will but we can still be together, if only in death._

_I guess this is goodbye, I don't even know why I'm writing this down, I kind of imagine you to be standing over my shoulder reading as I write like you always used to but this time you can't correct the words or phrasing, I miss that. But I won't have to for long. I've already written letters for everyone else to have, yours has been the hardest to write and the most important I guess._

_If you're waiting for me up there I won't be long now, I can't experience tomorrow, it will be too final, the end of us and the start of just plain George. I can't do that. _

_I'm sorry Fred. I love you brother, when we next meet it'll be our birthday hopefully, I'm looking forward to it._

_Gred._

George looked his final letter over once before sealing it and stepping away from the desk. He walked over to the table and put the letter down there along with the others he had written, one for each member of his family, one for his best friend Lee and one for Angelina Johnson, the secret love of his life.

Walking around the room he took in everything they had once had together, they'd even shared a bedroom at the flat despite there being more than one bedroom available, and that room hurt to look at. It was only a dull room, they hadn't really gotten round to decorating too much, a fading red paint adorned the walls and two four poster beds, almost identical to their beds at Hogwarts, were placed on either side of the room with minimal furniture dotted around. They'd shared everything including clothes so saw no need for two wardrobes, the spare space had allowed room for a cauldron which they'd used to brew up experiments. They'd spent many nights sat around that cauldron, George being the brains of the operation did most of the actual potion making while Fred shouted out suggestions of different uses of the potion they were attempting to make. That was how it had worked you see, Fred had been the creative one, coming up with the ideas behind everything and George had been the cleverer one who did most of the work. Not to say that Fred wasn't clever as well, in fact Hermione herself had once commented on the magic behind their products and gave a sort of backhanded compliment to their intelligence, mostly it was a complaint about the fact that if they'd actually studied for their exams they would have been able to achieve much better grades, but Fred and George had seen it as praise for the fact that they were incredibly talented magically, which they were, not many five year olds unconsciously turn their younger brothers teddy bear into a spider because they thought it might be funny.

George hadn't moved anything, it was as messy as Fred left it and he loved that. There were still products from the shop scattered around the floor and he found Fred's notebook in which he'd written all his ideas for products down. It was magical, everything Fred had thought of George had helped to make real, their whole lives had been spent like this, and they had loved it so much. The notebook was almost completely full but Fred had never gotten around to finishing it, although if enough time had been allotted to him he could have easily burned through many more, he'd always been exploding with ideas. This notebook had been a present from George and Fred had taken it everywhere with him, George added it to his pocket, a piece of Fred to be with him forever. He walked back into their living room.

Again, they hadn't really decorated much but in order to keep their mother out of their way they had done a little painting, neutral colours that Ginny had recommended and they'd even allowed her to add little accessories to the rooms such as light fittings and vases which they honestly didn't think were needed but it satiated their mother enough for her to consider letting them live alone. Not that she could have stopped them but she would never have left them alone if she didn't think they were responsible, which of course they weren't which was worrying enough for her but they had managed to scrape by relatively safely. When they were at home anyway, nothing had really gone wrong until the battle.

The kitchen adjoined the lounge but they'd never actually cooked in it, the cupboards contained only tinned foods, they'd never needed anything fresh when their mother would drop round all their meals each day, they only needed to heat everything up. There had been quite a stash of firewhisky in the cupboards initially, they'd liked to have a laugh with friends and they'd have plenty of friends and the parties to go along with them initially. After Fred's death Ron and Harry had come round and removed all of the alcohol in fear of George turning to alcohol in his despair, which George had to admit was a good point, he probably would have done exactly that.

The table in the lounge contained the only piece of mirror left in the house, he meant what he'd said, a few days after Fred's death he'd smashed every single mirror in the flat, quite a lot of other reflective pieces in the flat as well, he couldn't look at his reflection anymore, all he'd see was Fred. He picked up the shard of broken mirror from the table and gazed into it, remembering his brother and for a moment could have sworn he saw Fred as well, in an almost corporeal form but that only lasted for an instant. It still comforted him, in the flat he never felt alone, even when nobody else was with him, he truly did feel Fred's presence with him, and perhaps he just wanted to think he was there but he needed him to be there, he always would.

"I'm sorry Fred, if you're still here could you maybe stay with me? I get that you wouldn't want to watch this but if I feel you here it will be so much easier. I love you brother." He spoke to seemingly nobody but he thought he felt Fred get closer to him anyway.

"Thank you."

Then he climbed onto the table and placed the noose he'd already set up around his neck. Just at that exact moment he heard someone knock at the door of his flat.

"George? It's me Ginny, I need to see you George please let me in." She begged through the door but George didn't respond, he loved Ginny dearly but he needed to do this. He'd always been close to his little sister, him and Fred had been the middle children and had been close to everyone in the family apart from Percy, but they'd always felt protective over Ginny, they were her biggest brothers when Bill and Charlie had moved away to work and Percy had abandoned them. Initially she'd taken care of George after but she'd had to go to Hogwarts to complete her seventh year. She wanted to stay with George but he'd assured her he'd be okay and after that Percy had taken over, he'd been trying to repair the damage he'd done to the family by leaving. It had helped a little but nothing could redo those years. George had begged him to give him a timeturner so he could bring Fred back but Percy had been adamant he couldn't do that, George didn't hate him for it, he knew Percy felt guilty enough already, but George needed Fred back and that had been the last choice, the last possible way to do so. So he'd accepted the fact he couldn't change anything, but he always hoped and wondered, Fred had never known when to give up on things but George had been the voice of reason in the pair and had realised when enough was enough. So he'd resorted to this, he had to.

"George I know you're in there, if you don't say anything in the next ten seconds George I will open this door another way I swear." She threatened. Ginny was telling the truth, she was worried about George and she never fell through on a promise. George knew this. She had taken after the twins in a way, she'd developed their brashness and confidence, and she would walk straight into a situation with thinking about what would happen when she was there. He didn't want her to walk into this situation but he knew now that he could do nothing to stop her doing exactly that. He had to get it out of the way before she had to see more than she needed to.

"Don't come in Gin, you don't want to see this, I'm sorry, I love you guys. Tell them I love them, all of them." He called out before kicking the table away. In the moments he was hanging there he saw Fred again, in fact the Fred he saw even spoke to him this time.

"Georgie you don't need to do this, I'm waiting up there for you and I'm always with you, you can do this without me Georgie you really can, I love you Gred. But you need to let go and get on with life." He told him, well at least that's what George heard anyway. He might have been real, he might not have been but at that moment he didn't care.

He was starting to black out when he heard the door explode open and Ginny run in, the last thing he heard was his little sister cry out "Diffindo." And then he fell to the ground and everything went blank.

**So yeah, that's the first chapter, I feel like I might need to clear things up a little, so firstly there is no twincest in this but they were always together and a huge part of George's life is gone now and everything he has and wants and is constantly reminds him of this so he naturally would feel like this but there is no twincest, I never really thought twincest made sense or fitted right so I wouldn't write it. The story will continue, and George is going to stay messed up for a little bit but it's only a short story and he will make it through this. Also anybody that likes the facts straight and thinks that Ginny shouldn't be out of school Professor Mcgonagall gave her special permission to leave school for the weekend to visit her family knowing this would be a hard time for their family. I think there should be about three maybe four more chapters to this. Please review or private message me if you want to help with anything or just let me know your opinions, thanks.**

**Also I'm not actually sure which of the two is meant to be Gred and which is meant to be Forge but because they are talking about the Weasley Christmas jumpers that have their initials on when George says they know their names are Gred and Forge I assumed that George is Gred because he has G jumper and Fred would be Forge. I may be wrong about this, if I am please let me know. Thanks again.**

**I have written the next chapter but not the other chapters yet but I am planning on writing them very soon and updating very quickly because I want to do it and finish it unlike my past stories. Thanks again.**


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